armyreal.com - Forums

Go Back   ArmyReal.com Forums > Army.com General Discussions > The Lounge
User Name
Password

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes

  #1  
Old 04-25-2009, 09:07 AM
PaganAngel's Avatar
PaganAngel PaganAngel is offline
Sergeant First Class
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Witch Town, MA
Posts: 168
Send a message via AIM to PaganAngel Send a message via MSN to PaganAngel
Default Irony

Hah... please take no offense to this! I just find this very ironic and am curious why this is so. So i was on the phone with my cousin who is in AIT. We were talking about relationships because I am dating a friend of his he met down there and he is questioning some girls he has back home. He said- especially now- he can not trust any females. He presumes that all girls will cheat. He further explained that all men in the military are extremely faithful. However, women (with husbands/bfs) constantly cheat. Despite, they dont think they are. Maybe it was just where my cousin is stationed, i dont know. But why is that? Why do men in the military automatically assume their wife/gf back home will meet someone else? And why are they more faithful than the girls in the military? o.O Again, I dont mean to make offense upon anyone, just find it very ironic!
Reply With Quote

  #2  
Old 04-25-2009, 10:09 AM
Armygirl4Ever's Avatar
Armygirl4Ever Armygirl4Ever is offline
Captain
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Home is Where You Hang Your Dog Tags!
Posts: 927
Default

I will tell you that your cousin is not totally correct. Trust me when I say that men cheat as much as women in the military (and outside the military for that matter). Your cousin hasn't been in the military long enough to really gain a perspective on that. Being in a training environment isn't the best place to gauge an opinion anyway given the fact that for many Soldiers, this is the first time away from home and this is their first taste of independence and they go a little crazy with that new found freedom.

As far as why men think all their women back home cheat...call it insecurity.
__________________
Armygirl4ever,
Proudly Serving in the Silent (okay, maybe not always so silent) Ranks

Reply With Quote

  #3  
Old 04-25-2009, 10:28 AM
missinhim's Avatar
missinhim missinhim is offline
First Lieutenant
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 827
Default

Yeah I think that's how my bf is feeling:/
Reply With Quote

  #4  
Old 04-25-2009, 12:44 PM
PaganAngel's Avatar
PaganAngel PaganAngel is offline
Sergeant First Class
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Witch Town, MA
Posts: 168
Send a message via AIM to PaganAngel Send a message via MSN to PaganAngel
Default

Thats a good point... so do you think that if he is insecure he is more prone to cheating!? <.<
Reply With Quote

  #5  
Old 04-25-2009, 02:24 PM
wolq's Avatar
wolq wolq is offline
Sergeant First Class
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 198
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by PaganAngel View Post
Thats a good point... so do you think that if he is insecure he is more prone to cheating!? <.<
Pagan, first of all, I dont know the ages of your friend. But being young and immature breeds ignorance. Also lopsided experiences dont count for the total group. Its like saying if I got robbed by an African-American then I will label them all as thieves.

Anyway, in the military world, infidelity is high with both sexes because of the small communities, immaturity and wrong reasons for getting married young. When I was a Marine, mostly the men were the wrong ones because we were part of an environment where there was like 4 girls to each man. In the Army, its in reverse.

Soldiers are briefed weekly in the Regular Army about being unfaithful, STDs and other immoral vices. Take things with a grain of salt and realize there are men and women in the military that can be faithful to the ones that they commit themselves to. My opinion is when you are young and going to college or the service, its best to be single and date than to commit with the first person that makes you go gaga.
Reply With Quote

  #6  
Old 04-25-2009, 02:59 PM
PaganAngel's Avatar
PaganAngel PaganAngel is offline
Sergeant First Class
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Witch Town, MA
Posts: 168
Send a message via AIM to PaganAngel Send a message via MSN to PaganAngel
Default

I agree. Your absolutely right. I was just stunned by what my cousin was saying. And FYI, my cousin is 20. XP
Im going into college this fall. But I dont see myself as the cheating type. So hopefully my bf isnt the type too... o.O
Reply With Quote

  #7  
Old 05-06-2009, 01:06 AM
jasonm221 jasonm221 is offline
Private
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 13
Default

Well I can only talk on my experience. My dad works as a salesman at a car dealership. We live in North Carolina which is a large military state so seeing soldiers in the dealership is frequent. I was hanging out there about a year ago when this couple comes in to buy a car. I was in the same room when they were talking it over with my dad. The woman's husband was on his second tour in Iraq going on his 7Th month. But she was not alone in the room. The man she was with, was some other man which I saw kissing on the way out. So this woman is spending her husbands money which comes from him being in the Marines, he is deployed, and she is living fine back here. That just from my experience. Not all people think that though. I think the men sometimes would like to hope that there girlfriend or wife is being loyal to him so he thinks that he has somebody back home who can support him. Or something like that. It's sad when you hear about relationships having problems during deployments.
Reply With Quote

  #8  
Old 05-06-2009, 04:50 PM
PaganAngel's Avatar
PaganAngel PaganAngel is offline
Sergeant First Class
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Witch Town, MA
Posts: 168
Send a message via AIM to PaganAngel Send a message via MSN to PaganAngel
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by jasonm221 View Post
Well I can only talk on my experience. My dad works as a salesman at a car dealership. We live in North Carolina which is a large military state so seeing soldiers in the dealership is frequent. I was hanging out there about a year ago when this couple comes in to buy a car. I was in the same room when they were talking it over with my dad. The woman's husband was on his second tour in Iraq going on his 7Th month. But she was not alone in the room. The man she was with, was some other man which I saw kissing on the way out. So this woman is spending her husbands money which comes from him being in the Marines, he is deployed, and she is living fine back here. That just from my experience. Not all people think that though. I think the men sometimes would like to hope that there girlfriend or wife is being loyal to him so he thinks that he has somebody back home who can support him. Or something like that. It's sad when you hear about relationships having problems during deployments.
Ugh, that honestly disgusts me... How some people can be so deceiving. He is off at war, defending this country and HER freedom! While she is using all his benefits and... ughhh yeah you get the idea.
I dont know. I talked a little about this with my guy. He assured me he's the faithful kind. I can see that he is. I am not worried. As for myself... I just can't even fathom that! Especially with someone who is in the military risking his life... it really changes the way you think about your relationship and your role. Hmm, some people <.<
Reply With Quote

  #9  
Old 05-07-2009, 07:32 AM
jrj1000's Avatar
jrj1000 jrj1000 is offline
Brigadier General
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Living the dream!!!
Posts: 2,815
Default

Its all about trust and whether the people are secure within themselves and the relationship....if people are constantly treating and worrying about their other halfs and whether they are staying faithful or not...its time for them to rethink a few things in my opinion.If people are going to stray they will...it makes no difference whether they are down
the road or the other side of the country/world.

Gender has nothing to do with it...A cheat is cheat...its a personality trait it has nothing to do with testosterone/estrogen

During my first stint in the Army I was in a relationship...I never strayed once... as far as far as I know neither did she.I never really worried about it to be honest...not cos I didnt give a flying...because theres somethings you cant control...what will be will be

If its meant to last it will...worthwhile relationships will survive everything thats thrown at it...Distance and time apart is one of the smallest tests
__________________
Some People say the most important thing
a fighter can have is heart.
show me a fighter who's nothing but heart,
and I'll show you a man waiting for a beating.

كافر
Reply With Quote

  #10  
Old 05-07-2009, 02:09 PM
StrawberryShortcake StrawberryShortcake is offline
Second Lieutenant
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Davie, Florida
Posts: 667
Default

If someone cheats while in the military, they would've eventually been unfaithful back home. Those who are unfaithful, will be unfaithful no matter where they are. The military doesn't just make people cheaters.

Cheating in the military (and in general,) depends on the relationship. The foundation has to be strong, you two have to know beforehand what you're getting into, you'll be dealing with not seeing your partner for long periods of time. There has to be no insecurity whatsoever, full trust is required. You two have to be fully committed to each other, otherwise it just will not work. He has to know that you will not cheat on him, and the same goes for you. Often times, people cheat because they believe that their partner is cheating, and they feel it'll give the suspected cheater a taste of their own medicine. Insecurity and lack of trust in a relationship will ultimately lead to a break-up.

In order for a relationship with a military partner to work, there has to be committment and a good foundation. You can't just meet a guy not long before he gets deployed and expect him to be faithful. Chances are, he won't be. He has little to no commitment.

If he really feels uncomfortable, talk to him and tell him that he doesn't have much to base his opinion of women on. He's only in AIT, and is with a limited group of females. I'm sure that most of the females there aren't cheating, it just seems like a lot (tell him how girls tend to think that all guys are cheaters, but in fact, most don't cheat.) Maybe you should even look up some statistics.
__________________
"Virtue is never left to stand alone. He who has it will have neighbors." - Confucius
"Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today." - James Dean
"Youth is a circumstance you can't do anything about. The trick is to grow up without getting old." - Frank Lloyd Wright
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 03:38 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
    
·Contact Us   ·Legal   ·Privacy   ·Link To Us    ·Advertise With Us    ·About Us    ·Site Map     
     Copyright 2004-2019 Activv, LLC. All rights reserved. Armyreal.com is a service provided by Activv.
This website is not affiliated, endorsed, authorized, or associated in any way with any government, military or country.