Some great Chuck Norris facts


When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.

Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take **** from anybody

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the **** down.

Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

Chuck Norris once kicked a baby elephant into puberty

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Some People say the most important thing
a fighter can have is heart.
show me a fighter who's nothing but heart,
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Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups, he pushes the Earth away from him.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity...twice.

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Johnny B
Ship Date: 20090610
MOS: 25N - Nodal Network Systems Op./Maintainer
BCT/AIT: Ft. Knox, KY/Ft. Gordon, GA
"Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win." -Sun Tzu

Chuck Norris scares me he gives me night terrors

Chuck Norris Has a gotee

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He doesn't love me because I'm beautiful, I'm beautiful because he loves me!!

chuck norris can talk about fight club

chuck norris doesn't sleep, he waits

horses are hung like chuck norris

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"You realize that life goes fast, it's hard to make the good things last, you realize the sun doesn't go down, it's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round." -Flaming Lips