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  #21  
Old 07-08-2008, 04:25 AM
mtomom mtomom is offline
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Originally Posted by Glipiro View Post
Its a very tough decision. I don't want to choose any of the options. Why do the decisions in life have to be so hard? Why can't everyone make life easy for one another?
Making decision is a part of growing up... I understand you are only 16 and he is only 18. There are so many ways you and him are going to grow. If you aren't sure what to do, don't do nothing... The right thing will come to you

So far as no contact... My son went in last October, the day he left my daughter in law started writing him. When he got a address he called and said Hi, I am fine here is where you can write me at.....Then we said we love you, and that was about it for about a week. The calls came few and far between, but it was great when we talked. You need to talk to his parents, he will call them first, collect then send him phone cards so he can call you. Txmom is right the payphone are right next to the PX they can use them when they have time.

I will be honest with you... My son told us that the letters is what helped him the most. I know they did me too. Phone calls are great but they only last so long... Letters are something you can have forever...

Just remember he told you this is for you and him... If you love him you will stand by him, Just as I am sure he has stood by you in the past. Hang in there just count the weeks not the days it goes faster.
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  #22  
Old 07-08-2008, 01:19 PM
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Originally Posted by Glipiro View Post
Its a very tough decision. I don't want to choose any of the options. Why do the decisions in life have to be so hard? Why can't everyone make life easy for one another?

If he made the choices you want him to make, would it be easier on him? You don't want to start a life together with regret or resentment and forcing him to make decisions that make life easier on one person is a sure way to do that. Relationships are about compromise, it's not always easy. It's been said, time and time again. life is not fair. There is always choice in every situation. You can choose how to deal with a crappy situation, you can tolerate it and make the best of it or you can choose to be miserable and hate every step of the journey.

I hope you'll consider supporting him in his decision, write him letters. Give a little, doesn't he deserve that if you love him?
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  #23  
Old 07-08-2008, 04:35 PM
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Fireball Fireball is offline
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Glipiro: I've been told all these things a million times before. I'm sure some of you know how it goes when you find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Well thats him for me. I tried so hard just to find a man that will wake up everyday and not mind my smelly breath. How many years have you been earnestly looking??? You're 16....

I found him and when he told me he wanted to join the army I collapsed. I have forgotten to tell you I am sixteen years old and he is eighteen. I told him several times that mentally and physically I can not go through with him being gone. Ive got two years of school left too finish up and I'm worried that with all the stress I will not be able to concentrate in school resulting in me failing.
Going from being face to face everyday to hearing his voice once every few weeks is unbearable. I CANT EVEN LAST BCT! HOW AM I GOING TO LAST THREE YEARS!!!???
I believe you are seeing the realities.

He decided to do this to give us a good start on life, but I don't need it. I'd be extremely happy even if we lived in a box as long as I can hear him tell me he loves me and feel his body against mine.
AGAIN, a relationship isn't about what *you* need and want...

At times I feel that I want to support him but mentally I cant, other times I want to tell him to come home because then I am assured that he is OK and I am happy.
Again, you are thinking about YOU... you would be ignorant if you believe that he is "ok" emotionally, physically, etc... with you determining the outlook of HIS life. This may work for the first few years of a relationship, but then it will cause resentment and you will not see it coming...

There should be nothing for him to regret because with him in the army or not our future is not a problem. If he's not then both our lives would be easier. I told him before he left that I could try to make this work but if it didn't work and I am the way I am now, and I asked him to come home, and he doesn't then I'm screwed over. Again, a very self-centered view... not only that but very typical teenage behavior. Which again - shows your immaturity.

Before he left he had the decision to not go, if he doesn't now then I don't know what the hell I'm going to do, (You're going to do what every other 16 year old will do... finish school with a bit of heartbreak, and eventually find another guy that was even better than the one you thought was "the one"... we all have been there and done that. because I knew it was gonna happen, and nothing pisses me off more then knowing I'm right before the fact of the matter. It pisses me off I love him so much. (Dang Hormones!)I WISH I DIDN'T because it causes problems like these, (Right now, they are problems... as you gain experience and meet more than a few guys - you begin to realize that those great men/guys you dated prepared you for the best guy of all... and then I am the one (You really need to stop focusing on only you... and you will need to do this to gain/grab hold of a greater perspective on your life....) who gets hurt in the end because he wouldn't listen to me when I cried out. (Maybe he did hear you cry out and he just needed to get away from that... and he is hoping you'll change as much as he will...) I wish you guys knew me because then it would all make sense, and you wouldn't be calling me whiny, self centered baby. Truth is you don't know my situation.That could be true, however, the fact that you are 16 really truly helped me understand a little bit about the extreme-intense emotional connection, self-centered thought (not really baby-ish) and also tells me that in a few years things will be perfect again... that is just how it works. I was seriously involved with a guy at 16 and when he left for two years to serve a mission for his church - it was hard... very hard... and three months before he came home I met an amazing guy... better than him... (well, he's a doctor now... hahaha SO maybe that life would have been more glam than this army life... LOL) BUT I am truly grateful for his character and that hte Lord placed him in my life to let me know that there were amazing guys.... SO keep the faith... be more patient and I am confident that what ever you choose you will make the best of it.
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  #24  
Old 07-14-2008, 12:38 PM
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Dear Glipiro: This is A#1Mom, again! Just read Fireballs' last post, and again I have to agree whole-heartedly with it also! Let me give you my background info 1st-remember we're all trying to help & give advice; that's all. I am an empty-nested Mother of an Army Soldier who is 24yrs. old and a son who is 22yrs. old & moved out on his own last year. I am also divorced and live totally alone. My son in the Army just recently re-deployed from Iraq; he's fine; I've only spoken to him once for maybe 5 minutes since he came back. What's my point? you say? It's this: I Love my sons, and whether they were my sons, or any other significant other, in Loving someone there has to be a give & take, and although I may not agree with the choices my Loved ones make, these choices ARE THEIRS' to make! Not mine. You are ONLY 16yrs. old. You are still in may ways, although you may not want to hear, or acknowledge it a child/Teenager. Your life has a long way to go. Why make yourself miserable at such a young age? It may feel like the world will end, but beleive me, it isn't going to - at least that I know of! Concentrate on what is going on at home & in school- write your guy, but only if it's positive. And remember that your boyfriend/soldier is 18yrs. old, and entitled to decide what to do with his life, just as you are. Good Luck!
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  #25  
Old 07-14-2008, 01:01 PM
Txmom42 Txmom42 is offline
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Wow, they have given you some good advice. I will tell you as the mom of 4 kids, two of them teenage daughters, 16 and 19, that you will survive this. I can't begin to count the number of late night chats I have had, telling my girls, and son for that matter, that same thing. Every time any of mine date someone new I hear the same things, I love him, I love her, he/she is my soulmate. And then and then months or weeks down the road there is a new one. If he is your first boyfriend then there is always going to be a special place for him in your heart, but there are other guys out there. High School is one of the best times of your life, you need to live in the moment and enjoy it, it goes by so fast.
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  #26  
Old 07-18-2008, 08:52 AM
Templar Templar is offline
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Originally Posted by Glipiro View Post
I've thought about supporting him, but I can't not in something as stupid as this. Especially if it means he might not come home. I can't live with that. I'm not a person to take any chances. I want to be with him, but I can't do it if death is in the middle of us. I can't sit here and be told he's not going to die, then wait around thinking that, and it happens. That is a chance I'm not willing to take. My emotions have been put out on the line too many times before, I will not tolerate them being crushed because he made a stupid decision. I'll tell him let some other stupid guy/girl take your place. He has too much to live for for it all to be taken away.
I have to say, Glipiro, I've honestly never encountered someone as selfish as you are.

First, you're 16 years old! You know nothing about life as an adult. Your boyfriend, who I think at this point would be better off with someone else, is trying to do whatever he can to make a better life for the both of you! Your comments make it painfully clear that you know nothing about paying bills and trying to be successful....especially in the world we live in right now. Good jobs aren't easy to come by, especially with the benefits associated with the military.

Yes, the military will change him, but I would be willing to bet it's for the better. Like other's have said before, those in the military don't necessarily think they're "better" than anyone else, but I can say from experience that serving your country fills you with such a feeling of pride that you can't help but hold your head a little higher than most.

Fact of the matter is....if you pull some ***** and get him to come home, he will resent you....perhaps for the rest of your life. If you truly love him (although it seems that you love yourself more) let him do this. YOU'RE 16 EFFING YEARS OLD! You have soooo many years ahead of you! Not seeing him for the next 19 weeks is such a small sacrifice to make to ensure a good future.

The bottom line is you need to grow up, and I don't think any of us actually "knowing you" would change our opinions. He's living in the real world. You should try it, too.
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  #27  
Old 07-18-2008, 02:05 PM
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Exo1 Exo1 is offline
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Originally Posted by Templar View Post
I have to say, Glipiro, I've honestly never encountered someone as selfish as you are.

.

Normal teenage stuff.. its all mememe!!!.... lol.....

Glilpiro, you are a child!!.. Stop pretending to be grown up when you are not, and for the love of all that is good in this world, stop being such a drama queen!!!.. Like, if I was like 16 yrs old and you were my girlfriend and whinged like that, youd be fired in 2 seconds flat!!.. Your boyfriend is enlisting, support him or leave him!.. Make your choice and stop your whinging!!.. Its irrating!!..
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  #28  
Old 07-19-2008, 06:06 AM
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Got to agree with all the guys on this one....selfish teenage antics....wheres the surport here....???...keep it up...and your getting kicked into touch
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  #29  
Old 07-22-2008, 08:23 AM
jenny jenny is offline
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My advice= you are 16 years old, enjoy being a young adult and put your energy into your education and figuring out what you are going to be when you grow up.

He seems to be a responsible young man, let him create his future.

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  #30  
Old 07-23-2008, 06:31 AM
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kmullins kmullins is offline
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your right when you say we dont know you and your story. but the facts are we all have our own stories. when i was 16 i was pregnant with my first child. i was in highschool and worked a full time time. when my dad found out i was pregnant he found mick and me our first home and told us it was time to stop playing house and grow up. i am now 27, mick and i have 3 kids, and he has been in the army for the past 2-3 years. i have not seen my husband since he left for iraq in Febuary, right after our son's birthday's but before his. for our 8th wedding aniversary he was in Georgia training to go overseas.

so okay, your 16, so what. the best thing my dad ever said to me when i was 16 is "if you want to play grownup, grow the **** up"!

leave your boyfriend in the army. if you cant deal with it get out of the realationship yourself, not drag him down with you
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