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  #1  
Old 01-24-2009, 05:03 PM
ArmyWife6/09 ArmyWife6/09 is offline
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Question Before, After or During?

My boyfriend (waiting only on the question/ring) and I are trying to figure out when to get married. Before basic, After basic and during AIT or after basic and AIT.

From what I understand if we are married when he starts basic then the I will be on under the support of active duty dependents and when he went to AIT I would be moved up there to him and after a month he would move off base with me.

It seems like it would be easier for us and less time apart to get married before. the distance thing is something we have had to deal with before and upto a year. but its not something we like to do if we can avoid it. So what do ya'll who have been through it suggest? Before, After or during?
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  #2  
Old 01-24-2009, 05:23 PM
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MSG Glenn MSG Glenn is offline
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If you get married before BCT you probably won't be able to see him at all & probably not much during AIT but you'd still be an Army dependant & drawing his allotment & BAH to help pay for your living expenses. It's doubtful whether you'd be able to marry while he's in AIT.
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  #3  
Old 01-24-2009, 05:27 PM
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Armygirl4Ever Armygirl4Ever is offline
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Only AIT's longer then 20 weeks are authorized to have the Soldier's dependents moved to that location. And even then the Soldier has to earn the right to live with them and it's not right away.
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Old 01-24-2009, 09:53 PM
ArmyWife6/09 ArmyWife6/09 is offline
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Yeah, I know its 39 weeks. I wouldn't be considering this if is was less then 20 weeks. Ok also keep in mind we are not talking throwing wedding getting married we are talking going gown town and tying the knot type thing.

I guess what I am trying to ask. Is it better in your option to get married before or after as the time together goes. In our option we have been apart for a year and we have 3 months together before he leaves for Basic, we would like to be apart as little as possible. Which gives us that option or at least a better chance at less separation.
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  #5  
Old 01-24-2009, 10:06 PM
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Armygirl4Ever Armygirl4Ever is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ArmyWife6/09 View Post
Yeah, I know its 39 weeks. I wouldn't be considering this if is was less then 20 weeks. Ok also keep in mind we are not talking throwing wedding getting married we are talking going gown town and tying the knot type thing.

I guess what I am trying to ask. Is it better in your option to get married before or after as the time together goes. In our option we have been apart for a year and we have 3 months together before he leaves for Basic, we would like to be apart as little as possible. Which gives us that option or at least a better chance at less separation.
Well if you are going for not being separated too much then go ahead and get married and move with him. Just know that his time home with you at AIT can still be limited. It's not the ideal way to start a marriage because living together in a training situation can be stressful. His first priority during that time will always be training and I've seen a lot of spouses get frustrated with their Soldier in that situation.

As far as separation as a whole, it sucks but it's Army life. Good luck with your decision!
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  #6  
Old 01-25-2009, 09:21 PM
ArmyWife6/09 ArmyWife6/09 is offline
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Ok thanks. We'll talk about it and see what we do. Yeah, well we know about separation. That has better much been out whole relationship, lol. Life is always going to have challenages, the only difference is the challenage.
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  #7  
Old 01-25-2009, 10:01 PM
1armywife 1armywife is offline
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Excuse me for saying this but the common denominator is that it is a matter of just how much you love him. I married my husband during his Christmas Exodus, which was prior to AIT. I didn't see him during training and with all that's going on in the world, I don't know what will happen to with him within the year to come. I am happy being his wife period and understand that service offers no guarantee. If you were living with him, he could end up deployed and you could be seperated then. There are no guarantees in the Army; especially while we are at war. I understand your need to take precaution, but there may never be a perfect time. I would take control of timing while you still have that ability. The military has it's own timing, which may not go according to your schedule. I wish you the best of luck and offer congratulations in advance!
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Old 01-26-2009, 08:47 PM
ArmyWife6/09 ArmyWife6/09 is offline
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Ya know what your post is so true. Ieven sent it to my boyfriend to read and hs reply was "she's got a point" lol. You are right there really isn't a good time but love is the most important thing. Thanks for you reply!!!
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  #9  
Old 01-26-2009, 09:30 PM
1armywife 1armywife is offline
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You are welcome!
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  #10  
Old 01-27-2009, 05:00 PM
LiHer82 LiHer82 is offline
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Me ad my husband went through the same thing, After looking at the benifits of being married we decided to go ahead and do it at the last minute. We got married on the 2nd of this month and he flew out to BCT on the 6th. Of course it wasn't the dream wedding I always dreamed about, but I had to think of other factors, such as our son, and the bills that needed to be payed over here at home. But we still plan on having our "wedding." when he's done with training and AIT. You know if you love eachother it really doesn't matter how or where. If you plan on spending the rest of your life with him, then I say go for it! I don't regret anything, because I'm still going to get what I want later and I am married to the man I love and plan on spending my life with. I wish you good luck with your decision. Let us know what you decide
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