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  #1  
Old 01-25-2009, 08:25 PM
LiHer82 LiHer82 is offline
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Default New Army wife and new wife :)

Hi all!

I'm new here. I just wanted to introduce myself and say hello. I have a few q's, Hopefully ya'll can help. Looking forward to hear from everyone!

Currently my husband, is doing BCT at Ft. Jackson. He left on the 6th He called me a few days after he got there and the following Sunday. Unfortunately, I missed his Sunday call and I haven't heard from him since. It's been 2 weeks since his last phone call. I'm just curious if I'll hear from him soon. What's the norm for phone calls? Also, do their letters get mailed out on a regular basis? I didn't get 1 piece of mail from him until yesterday. I got 4 letters at once! All of them were written at different times (one when he got there), but all of them were postmarked the on the 20th. I was just wondering if that is normal.

Thanks everyone! Hope to hear from you soon!
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  #2  
Old 01-25-2009, 08:47 PM
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Armygirl4Ever Armygirl4Ever is offline
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Sundays are the day that are usually set aside for phone calls but that all depends on how the training schedule and also whether the Drill Sergeants feel the Soldiers have earned that privilege. Something else to keep in mind is that there are often long waits for the phones so if your husband doesn't like to wait, he may not call home as often.

As far as the letters go, it seems to me that he may have held on to them and then mailed them out the same day.
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  #3  
Old 01-25-2009, 09:30 PM
1armywife 1armywife is offline
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Thumbs up Support for the army wife and new wife :)

I am a new wife, new army wife, and new to this forum as well. I drop by now and then to learn a little more about the army culture. I feel your pain and know that someone will be more likely to offer more sound information which applies to your specific questions.

Mail during training can be fickle; there are times when my husband would receive his mail all at once. As your husband gains privileges you will most likely have a more consistent line of communication; however, there may be times when he may be without communication for a few days. Phone privileges may be dependent upon a few other factors as well. (One of the guys here can best explain that reality). The good thing is that he has written you, which I am sure does not take the place of two weeks or wonderment. After the shock wears off you will gain more acceptance of the army way of life, then you will realize that you've adjusted. My husband visited over the holidays: When he left I cried for weeks, now I am a little better. You will have to find things to mend the time, such as e-mail (even when you know he may not be able to read them), cards, letters, and care packages. A good support system works wonders, (your woman friends who are supportive, family, and or church). Know that it is easier for him when you are strong and fight the battle along with him as a team. Nonetheless, I don't mind writing you back if it helps.

Stay encouraged and I will keep you in my prayers.
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  #4  
Old 01-26-2009, 07:53 PM
LiHer82 LiHer82 is offline
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Smile

Thanks so much for your responses. I appreciate the info armygirl and I appreciate the support armywife. It was hard for me too when he left. It still is hard for me. I'm not eating that much. I can't fall asleep, and if I do fall asleep I can sleep as long as 12 hours. My stomach is always in knots. I can't wait until it get's better.

But on a happier note, I got another letter from him today. This one arrived 5 days after he wrote it which seems more reasonable. Hopefully they keep coming just as fast. Now I'm just waiting for a phone call Hopefully it's soon.
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  #5  
Old 01-26-2009, 09:26 PM
1armywife 1armywife is offline
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Default Encouragement:

It may be a good idea to ask him what his calling schedule will consist of in order to ensure that you are there the times that he calls and to make sure you aren't anticipating calls when he isn't able to make any contact. I am not sure if he has a cell-phone, or if he is permitted one where he is, but it certainly helps. Once you adjust, the sleep patterns get better, but I must say that you may never fully get used to it since being away from your husband for such a prolonged period of time isn't natural. Know that you are not alone; continue to re-read all of the mail he sends, and trust that he wishes he could contact you more. The military does a good job of keeping them busy. The training doesn't last forever: There is hope after all; it does get easier.
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  #6  
Old 01-26-2009, 09:39 PM
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Armygirl4Ever Armygirl4Ever is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1armywife View Post
It may be a good idea to ask him what his calling schedule will consist of in order to ensure that you are there the times that he calls and to make sure you aren't anticipating calls when he isn't able to make any contact. I am not sure if he has a cell-phone, or if he is permitted one where he is, but it certainly helps. Once you adjust, the sleep patterns get better, but I must say that you may never fully get used to it since being away from your husband for such a prolonged period of time isn't natural. Know that you are not alone; continue to re-read all of the mail he sends, and trust that he wishes he could contact you more. The military does a good job of keeping them busy. The training doesn't last forever: There is hope after all; it does get easier.
That's not really a logical request since he won't know when he will have that access. Phone calls are a privilege at Basic Training and he won't know when he will be able to, he can guess but he will never know for sure.
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  #7  
Old 01-26-2009, 09:59 PM
1armywife 1armywife is offline
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My hope is that if she knows that he could possibly have soldier time on Sundays, then perhaps he may have a chance to call. If he does receive the opportunity, hopefully she will be there. If not, then atleast she was available. There is nothing worse than missing the call entirely. Especially when you don't know when the next call will be. Another example is that she will know what times he definately will not be able to call such as certain hours of the day. The ability to rule-out certain times can help with minimizing the expectation and aniticipation from the spouse's end. Believe it or not, it makes life on our side a lot easier and helps time-management as well. Most certainly I am not able to give an account of the soldier experience, but I know what it's like to be in the spouse's shoes. There are certain things that we have to employ in order to stay healthy mentally and emotionally which helps them as well. These tips were passed down from a retired vet and a former Army wife after I experienced the let down, and I've found it to be very valuable. I just hope that it helps.
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  #8  
Old 01-26-2009, 10:08 PM
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Armygirl4Ever Armygirl4Ever is offline
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Originally Posted by 1armywife View Post
My hope is that if she knows that he could possibly have soldier time on Sundays, then perhaps he may have a chance to call. If he does receive the opportunity, hopefully she will be there. If not, then atleast she was available. There is nothing worse than missing the call entirely. Especially when you don't know when the next call will be. Another example is that she will know what times he definately will not be able to call such as certain hours of the day. The ability to rule-out certain times can help with minimizing the expectation and aniticipation from the spouse's end. Believe it or not, it makes life on our side a lot easier and helps time-management as well. Most certainly I am not able to give an account of the soldier experience, but I know what it's like to be in the spouse's shoes. There are certain things that we have to employ in order to stay healthy mentally and emotionally which helps them as well. These tips were passed down from a retired vet and a former Army wife after I experienced the let down, and I've found it to be very valuable. I just hope that it helps.
I do understand where you are coming from as well and it is good advice. I would just caution at adding undue pressure on both the Soldier and spouse by requesting a time table because if he can't meet it then he is worrying about letting her down while she is wondering why he isn't calling.

I can give an account on both perspectives having been a Soldier and now being a spouse. But it's also important to remember each individual situation is different depending on different locations and different drill sergeants.
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  #9  
Old 01-26-2009, 10:40 PM
1armywife 1armywife is offline
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Hi Armygirl4ever:

That was my reasoning for informing her that someone else would give her specifics. I wouldn't want to put the blame on someone else as the reason why he can't call. That's not my style. Thanks for all of the replies: She now has a few views which I hope will help enormously. I can sense a bit of her personality and she sounds as if she will use the infomation wisely. I will continue to keep her (and all of you guys) in my prayers. May God keep you all safe!
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  #10  
Old 01-26-2009, 10:44 PM
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Armygirl4Ever Armygirl4Ever is offline
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Originally Posted by 1armywife View Post
Hi Armygirl4ever:

That was my reasoning for informing her that someone else would give her specifics. I wouldn't want to put the blame on someone else as the reason why he can't call. That's not my style. Thanks for all of the replies: She now has a few views which I hope will help enormously. I can sense a bit of her personality and she sounds as if she will use the infomation wisely. I will continue to keep her (and all of you guys) in my prayers. May God keep you all safe!
Different perspectives are always a bonus when offering advice, so many perspectives help paint the big picture Good luck to you and your husband as well as you start off on this journey as well.
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