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  #1  
Old 06-08-2008, 02:10 PM
VegasDad VegasDad is offline
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I dont understand why the Army would enlist a single mother with four children. She was close to losing her children with child protective and while they were in temporary custody of her relative she joined. My child the oldest at 15 is just being given to her relative without any notification to me the non custodial parent. When I called CPS they claim the recruiter said she is getting her children back in 9 weeks after basic and that it is a temporary stay. I live in a different state and dont have the money for a custody battle but now have my child support given to the aunt when I am a fit parent. I thought you could not enlist as an unwed single mother and thought you needed concent from the other parent. By the time all this is done my child will be 18. She claims she will never live with her unfit mother. She does not want to live with me because I live in a different state. There should be better guidlines. Is the Army desperate. She even tried to kill herself last year. Do they take anyone??
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  #2  
Old 06-08-2008, 07:57 PM
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Originally Posted by VegasDad View Post
I dont understand why the Army would enlist a single mother with four children. She was close to losing her children with child protective and while they were in temporary custody of her relative she joined. My child the oldest at 15 is just being given to her relative without any notification to me the non custodial parent. When I called CPS they claim the recruiter said she is getting her children back in 9 weeks after basic and that it is a temporary stay. I live in a different state and dont have the money for a custody battle but now have my child support given to the aunt when I am a fit parent. I thought you could not enlist as an unwed single mother and thought you needed concent from the other parent. By the time all this is done my child will be 18. She claims she will never live with her unfit mother. She does not want to live with me because I live in a different state. There should be better guidlines. Is the Army desperate. She even tried to kill herself last year. Do they take anyone??
Sorry, man. I wish I could be more help. She should've had the decency to let you know..But you would've gotten in the way of her plan. Tough break. Maybe she'll wash out of bct...She and her recruiter knew what they were doing..

With the exception of the Army National Guard, single parents are not allowed to enlist in the military, period. In the "old days," some recruits would try to get around this restriction by giving up legal custody of their child(ren) until after basic training and job school, but the military has wised up to this practice.

For example, in the Marine Corps, one must give up legal custody (by court order) of their child(ren), and then wait one year or more before being eligible for enlistment. In the Army and Air Force, single member parent applicants who, at the time of initial processing for enlistment, indicate they have a child or children in the custody of the other parent or another adult are advised and required to acknowledge by certification that their intent at the time of enlistment was not to enter the Air Force/Army with the express intention of regaining custody after enlistment. These applicants must execute a signed statement testifying they have been advised that, if they regain custody during their term of enlistment, they will be in violation of the stated intent of their enlistment contract. They may be subject to involuntary separation for fraudulent entry unless they can show cause, such as the death or incapacity of the other parent or custodian, or their marital status changes from single to married.

The military's refusal to accept single parents for enlistment is a valid one. The military is no place for a single parent. In the military, the mission always comes first. Absolutely no exceptions are made in assignments, deployments, duty hours, time off, or any other factor for single parents. Single parents in the military are required to have a nonmilitary person (in the local area) on call at all times, 24-hours-per-day, seven-days-per-week, 365 days-per-year, who will agree (in writing) to take custody of their child(ren) at no notice, in the event that the military member is deployed or called to duty. Failure to comply with these " Family Care Plans" can (and does) result in an immediate discharge.

In general, an applicant who has joint physical custody of a child by court order or agreement, and the applicant does not have a spouse, he/she is considered a "single parent." If local or state court allows modification, if the other parent assumes full custody, the applicant is usually qualified for enlistment. I hope everything works out for you and the kids..For their sake.Children need their parents..Good Luck..

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  #3  
Old 06-08-2008, 11:25 PM
VegasDad VegasDad is offline
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The temporary custody was just a notorized paper, nothing court because I think they would have an obligation to inform me. She is leaving tommorow for basic and picked up all her children but mine and gave them to someone new. She's crazy. My daughter wont go with her. I dont understand why the recruiter would allow this and tell the CPS worker she is getting all her children back. Maybe if CPS worker new she was not getting her back, I might stand a chance to get my daughter. As it stands, Im told its temporary and nothing I can do. She is unfit and should not have the children and should have never taken them the aunt's house the night before she leaves. I guess this means she still has legal custody. I just have no way to fight because she left my state pregnant and I pay support but would have to hire an attorney to fight in her state for any custody etc. I have a family here and cant do an out of state battle. I dont like the idea that she is unfit and dont like the idea my daughter gets shuffled to whoever CPS wants because I am a great father, I dont even have a speeding ticket but there is nothing I can do. I just want the Army to know about the deception. I did not concent to my daughter being given away and she is a single mother of many children. Its not right for the recruiter to tell CPS she will have her kids in 9 weeks in Hawaii... This is my daughter that is being neglected AGAIN and not to mention her other children that she is lying too.
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  #4  
Old 06-09-2008, 05:13 AM
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Sounds like an awful situation...i feel for you mate
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  #5  
Old 06-09-2008, 07:16 AM
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I'm so sorry, Vegas. I don't know how I could have handled it when my kids were young.

We're very close, my two daughters, son , Mom & I.

I just can't visualize it.
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Old 06-09-2008, 01:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VegasDad View Post
I dont understand why the Army would enlist a single mother with four children. She was close to losing her children with child protective and while they were in temporary custody of her relative she joined. My child the oldest at 15 is just being given to her relative without any notification to me the non custodial parent. When I called CPS they claim the recruiter said she is getting her children back in 9 weeks after basic and that it is a temporary stay. I live in a different state and dont have the money for a custody battle but now have my child support given to the aunt when I am a fit parent. I thought you could not enlist as an unwed single mother and thought you needed concent from the other parent. By the time all this is done my child will be 18. She claims she will never live with her unfit mother. She does not want to live with me because I live in a different state. There should be better guidlines. Is the Army desperate. She even tried to kill herself last year. Do they take anyone??
Two guys went home from BCT when Drills found out they had lied on their paperwork. Maybe that will happen?

I went through foster parenting courses. The laws vary from state to state, but generally it isn't too drastic. You can get someone to represent you through the state for free. Talk to your CPS or Child Advocate center... or contact the Child Advocate office where your kids are and see what your resources are.

My personal opinion is - use the energy you have bickering at us - and do what you can to get your kids out of that situation. There are resources in your community you just need to do leg work to find them. Every state has legal assistance/aid for situations like these. Chances of them not notifying you can pose a problem and they are typically willing to work with you fast. CPS doesn't want kids in the system (as it sometimes appears) they want them re-united with their biological parents (especially fit ones).

Not only that - but CPS has certain requirements for parents to achieve... they are NOT going to babysit your kids while their mother is in BCT. They want stability for the kids and a mother whose chosen that as her vocation will not be highly favored by CPS given the past history you claim she has had.

Anyway, best of luck. You will have to work and it will be worth every penny spent if you truly care about them.


My advice is to also get a homestudy done to prove in writing your situation is a good one - so that people will work with you.
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  #7  
Old 06-09-2008, 03:37 PM
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VegasDad, ****ty situation, sorry to hear of it... As for the mother trying to kill herself, I would think that fact is concealed from the military, I cant imagine someone whos unstable declaring it and getting past the medical.

As for the kids, its a crying shame... I wish you and your daughter well... I thought there was something on the lines of a parenting plan and a limit to the amount of kids you can sign over to a spouse or gaurdian,but I probably wrong as the rules seem to be changing.
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  #8  
Old 06-09-2008, 11:23 PM
Txmom42 Txmom42 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fireball View Post
Two guys went home from BCT when Drills found out they had lied on their paperwork. Maybe that will happen?

I went through foster parenting courses. The laws vary from state to state, but generally it isn't too drastic. You can get someone to represent you through the state for free. Talk to your CPS or Child Advocate center... or contact the Child Advocate office where your kids are and see what your resources are.

My personal opinion is - use the energy you have bickering at us - and do what you can to get your kids out of that situation. There are resources in your community you just need to do leg work to find them. Every state has legal assistance/aid for situations like these. Chances of them not notifying you can pose a problem and they are typically willing to work with you fast. CPS doesn't want kids in the system (as it sometimes appears) they want them re-united with their biological parents (especially fit ones).

Not only that - but CPS has certain requirements for parents to achieve... they are NOT going to babysit your kids while their mother is in BCT. They want stability for the kids and a mother whose chosen that as her vocation will not be highly favored by CPS given the past history you claim she has had.

Anyway, best of luck. You will have to work and it will be worth every penny spent if you truly care about them.


My advice is to also get a homestudy done to prove in writing your situation is a good one - so that people will work with you.
Fire speaks the truth about CPS and about the leg work. I know people who have worked for it and won. You will have to prove you have a stable home life, so get the homestudy done soon. Do what you have to do. It's worth it.
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